Thoughts...

3/23/16

Thoughts…

“Blanca, you need to come home. I believe my brother just passed away.”

The phone call that sent my heart racing. The day had finally come. The moment I would have to face my greatest fear. I felt the breath leave my lungs and I couldn’t find it again. It was gone. It went with him perhaps. Not the breath that keeps me alive, but the one that kept us together. Knitted here on Earth. It separated from my being. No longer to be defiled by my unfaithfulness and cruelty. No longer to be saturated with my inability to understand why all this had to happen at all. Always confused to why it had to be this way. Withal I had given for years upon years I was left with all I had withheld. But that is the state of man isn’t it? Either degrading our efforts or giving ourselves too much credit. How prideful we are. Believing we are in control or retain time in our grasp. It is like when an insect flies about your head. You determine to catch the little pest in your hand. You reach, swing, palm open and clinch! It’s gone. Surely you have prevailed. You slowly open your hand only to discover an empty palm. In all that we determine to do and all we reached out to clinch, time continues to pass. People continue to walk toward the grave. Are we actually spending our lives distracting ourselves from this fact? One day I will know as I am known. All these questions will be answered. For you my friend there is no more wondering.