One More Moment

We foolishly believe we know the brokenness of a heart and the heaviness of a soul. Then in a moment that we cannot rewind the picture snaps into focus. Reminding again that life is precious and that some moments are so fleeting and others seem never ending. I don’t believe I have all the answers by any means. I am, however, acquainted with my own frailty and faults. I have been told again life is but a vapor. It seems so short…Always. We beg for more time. We beg for one more moment. But because there is no reverse, neither is there a forward we move and live in this present grief. “It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart” (Ecclesiastes 7:2). I know that the lesson is not supposed to be regret and shame, for the product of those is crippling and only breeds more death. When my son was hit by a car I dealt with an array of emotions, but it also changed me. I try to be aware of how I drive, especially, at corners. I try to make eye contact. I try to give what I wish my son was given. I look in both directions because in a moment…lives are changed forever. 

Image of you

I see you still

In little faces

In frozen images

In my mind

In my dreams

I see your eyes peering back at me through our children

I wonder if they can see you reflected back at them

Your image like the wave of the sea

Coming into view and then pulling back again

Always there

In my memory

In my regrets

In my hopes for our children

Like the hand of an old clock, your face moves back and forth continuously

Not feeling entitled to grieve like others

Not wanting to injure others with my sorrow

So inside it stays

In images

In tears that tip toe in the dark

Telling my heart to whisper and use it’s inside voice so as to not disturb the world